Fathers & Sons
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: AU Erin tries to comfort Kelly after the funeral #Lindseride based off Eppy 7.06 'All the Proof'


**Title: Fathers & Sons**

 **Summary:** AU Erin tries to comfort Kelly after the funeral #Lindseride based off Eppy 7.06 'All the Proof'

 **Disclaimer:** Same as always. I own nothing but my muse and my love for all things #firefighters

 **A/N:** Ugh sorry I LOVED Benny! He brought depth and angst to Kelly's world and much like killing Shay this was a wrong move IMO and Kelly doesn't need any more pain! This story has an AU twist to it and hope you all like it!

 **Note:** As always " _words in quotes and double italics taken from the eppy"_ single quotes or without are past convo's or thoughts.

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Kelly stood and stared at the cold slab of grey granite that proudly displayed his father's name as the cool wind whipped around him. He sensed the rain started to fall but didn't care that he would get wet; his mind actually thankful for the coolness that he thought would help calm his heated agitation.

He tried to push past the last few tormented days with his father but his discussion with Boden a few days ago wouldn't leave his mind.

 _"The last thing…I said to him was…you were a better father than he was…" Kelly Severide admitted to his boss and friend, Wallace Boden as they sat in the quiet church pew and talked in hushed tones. "I ask him for one thing…he did nothing…same old Benny…"_

 _"You don't know?"_

 _"Know what?"_

 _"Your father stepped in Kelly…stepped up with Grissom. I just spoke with the Commissioner. He met with him personally. Talked about the situation at 51…about how it affected the whole house, how it affected you. He pulled every string and called in every favor ever owed to back off 51 – and it worked. Gorsch is gone. Your father said that I was the kind of leader who know the good ones from the great ones and you Kelly….are all the proof he needs to know that that's true. Those were the exact words of your father."_

He shoulders slumped each time he thought about what his father had done…and it made his stomach tighten further. An angry sob escaped his lips and he felt himself start to falter due to emotional exhaustion. But just before he could completely collapse he felt a hand grasp his and instantly the warmth gave him an added boost of strength and he quickly straightened up and choked back a sniffle.

"I can't uh…thought I could deal with this but uh…but I can't," he admitted in a somber tone as his steely sapphire gaze remained fixed on his father's name. "Damn bastard…he should have told me!" He hissed in anger as his hand tightened its grip around hers. "He just sat there and…and he led me believe that he would do nothing and I thought…just another day, typical Benny…who cares about family and…and then Boden told me what he did and…and I don't know if I can move past it. Live with the guilt? He never got to hear me say I'm sorry."

"He knew you were angry."

"No excuse. He…he got Gorsch off the house and the Commish to back off 51. That…he…" Kelly stammered as he shook his head and then quickly wiped away a few tears from his eyes and looked down at her in anguish. "Erin…"

"Maybe he knew he was dying maybe not…he never told, never would that was his way but in the end he loved you and that's all that mattered to him. His last thought was to make life as good as possible for you as he could and that was his way."

"He…shoulda told me," Kelly lightly whimpered as he tried to swallow. "I just wish…he woulda said something. I woulda dropped everything and been there."

"That's why he didn't. Wasn't his MO."

"Hate having regrets and he knew that!"

"He also knew you'd forgive him."

"But he never forgave me!"

"Yes he did. Remember what Boden said?"

"I know I just wish…he'd have said it right to my face," Kelly implored as he looked at her in defeat. "Just wish…I had more time…we had more time with him. Funny I uh…just always thought he'd be here. And now…now I look back and wish I had done more with the time I had."

"Kelly…"

"No it's true I just kinda pushed him aside and then ragged on him when I didn't like how things were done and then after I had made an ass of myself he does something to redeem himself and I just…" he huffed as her arms wrapped around him tighter. He kissed the top of her damp head and hugged her close. "Now I'm left to live with a lifetime of guilt."

"He didn't blame you."

"He might not have said it but he didn't have to…I shouldn't have said those words. They weren't fair. Maybe true at times but to shove that in his face. That wasn't fair."

"If he didn't care as much as he did, he would have just went to his grave and left you to fight your battles alone. Family was first for him, even if he never showed it openly."

"Erin…"

"It's true. He loved you. He might never have said the words enough but his actions proved it at times and in the end he proved it."

"I know but…"

"But what?"

"But I worry that I'll be the same," Kelly stammered.

"Kelly…you're not the same man. You're only half of him and you fight against that half when it comes to family and relationships and what matters most. You aren't him."

"I know but…but I don't ever want to do that to our son. Just take him for granted…treat him like he'll always be there. I don't want us to have that distance as he grows up. Remind me okay? You see me slipping…remind me."

"You won't because you don't want that and you'll work hard to make sure that doesn't happen. But I will remind you," she ended with a light smile. "You love our son and that love will ensure that your legacy won't have as many regrets."

"Hope so."

Erin lifted her watery hazel gaze toward their son who stood by Matt and Gabby and forced a tight lipped smile. Then before either could say a word, he broke free from them and ran toward them.

"Daddy!"

"Hey buddy…come here," Kelly smiled as he hoisted his son into the air and held him close between him and his wife as Erin's arm wrapped around his back. "Benny loved him so much," Kelly started to sob again as his son's small fingers rested on his face and started to poke the tears; his innocent actions making them both smile.

"Daddy's sad."

"Yeah daddy's sad," Kelly told him as he looked at his son's large blue eyes with an adoring smile.

"Why?"

"Grampa Benny's….he's gone."

"Why?"

Kelly's lips automatically offered a nervous chuckle as he tried to sniffle and laugh at the same time. "How about we go home and I tell you a few silly stories about me and Grampa Benny when I was your age. Would you like that?"

His young son just shrugged as Erin tightened his little jacket around his little black suit and then looked at her husband with a strained expression.

"Love you both so much," Kelly whispered as his kissed his son's damp cheek and then pulled his wife closer as the three of them turned and slowly walked back toward his waiting car to go home and try to tell himself that would have to come to terms with his father's untimely passing and how he could pass on the best of Benny Severide to his beloved son and ensure that an emotional rift never developed between them.

 **THE END!**

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 **A/N:** So I wanted a bit of a future looking from Kelly reflecting on his father and him being a father and him being a son and his own son. Hope you all liked this piece and I just can't picture him married and having a family with anyone else but Erin. Please do review before you go and thanks so much!


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